Distractions

These first weeks of school have, at times, left me distracted with all my preparations.  My to-do list seems endless.  One task completed reminds me of a forgotten task that must be added.  It is easy to become worried and bothered about so many things.  It is easy to fret and scurry from job to job.  It is easy to allow my priorities to get turned upside down and to foolishly add details that are unnecessary, details that cause me to feel overworked and unappreciated.  Then, as Martha did in Luke 10:38-42, I try to force these same expectations on others.  I demand and scold and insist on help so that I am not left to do the work alone.

Martha’s meal preparations differ from my school preparations.  However, I do identify with her tumult and frustration.  Her movement from task to task as Mary rests at the feet of Jesus may have caused many furtive glances in the direction of the teacher.  Does He not see the work that must be completed?  Does He not care that I am left to serve alone?  Should He not tell her to help me?  The thoughts may have festered for some time until she was unable to hold them to herself any longer.  She took her complaint to Jesus expectant that He would take her side in the matter.  Instead He answered, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her.”

Because God has chosen to add this little story in His word, I am led to believe that I may not be the only woman who worries and bothers about so many things.  In Gods at War, Kyle Idleman asks, “How many times have we been so distracted that we’ve missed a divine moment?”   How many times have I allowed my worries about so many things distract me from the one thing necessary, the one thing that will not be taken away?  Martha is to be commended for the required work that she did to entertain the Lord and those with Him.  However, she allowed her work to become a burden.  She put too much stress on things that didn’t really matter and allowed them to distract her from the one thing that did matter. 

The one thing that matters is our relationship with the Lord.  Our focus must first be on Him and on the divine moments He so graciously offers us.  We must sit at His feet and learn from Him and His word.  The peace and guidance that we find there will enable us to complete our required work and service with joy and satisfaction.  That joy and satisfaction will spill over into our relationships.  We will no longer demand and scold.  We will no longer expect others to help with the work load.  Instead, we will find rest for our souls for His yoke is easy and His burden is light.  

How Do I Measure Up?

Mothers; wives; women:  We can all fall into the habit of sinful comparison.  We compare our children, and our husbands, and our choice of careers.  We compare the ways we discipline, and the ways we keep house, and the ways we dress.  As I have considered this topic of comparison throughout this past week, I have come to discover that really nothing escapes this habit of sinful comparison.  In fact, I noticed in my own life that comparison happens much more than I would like to admit – it almost seems constant at times.  It is a way to measure my own success against the life of another woman.  As John Piper writes, “That’s the way we sinners are wired.  Compare.  Compare.  Compare.  We crave to know how we stack up in comparison to others.  There is some kind of high if we can just find someone less effective than we are.  Ouch.” 

Ouch is right.  The problem is:  we don’t always find someone less effective than we are.  Sometimes, when we calculate our worth against the life of another woman, we can easily be left with the realization that we just don’t measure up.  Her kids may sit in perfect obedience when they are out in public or they may be offered scholarships at prestigious universities.  Her husband may take her on elaborate vacations or he may buy her diamonds to celebrate their years together.  Her house and garden may be showcased in a major magazine or she may be promoted to a high position at work.  These comparisons can leave us depressed and defeated with no confidence for the future.

However, other comparisons leave us with the prideful attitude that we are indeed more effective than the woman with whom we compare ourselves.  It may be that our children have achieved more, or our husbands are more attentive.  Or maybe our lives are filled with accomplishments that we can be, well, proud of.  Nancy Leigh DeMoss points out that these comparisons cause us to feel worthy of honor.  They give us a high and often self-important view of ourselves.  They tempt us to gossip so that others are aware of our superior measure.  These comparisons may give us reason to strut in pride, but they are just as, and possibly more, destructive as those comparisons that reveal our weaknesses.  After all we know that the boastful pride of life is not from the Father but rather from the world. 

It is right to rejoice with those who rejoice and to weep with those who weep.  It is good to learn from others and to seek counsel from those with more wisdom and experience.  But it is destructive to measure our worth by comparison.  It is, in fact, sinful.  As John Piper reminds us, “Jesus will not judge me according to my superiority or inferiority over anybody.  Jesus has a work for me to do (and a different one for you).  It is not what he has given anyone else to do.”  May we then compare ourselves to His standard for our individual lives and the work He has for us to do.  Let us look to Him and allow Him to measure our lives by His measure.  As He said to Peter in John 21:23, “What is that to you?  You follow Me!”   

Reflections for the School Year

At this time of year my mind is preoccupied with thoughts of the new school year.  As I plan the goals and objectives for the year, I am filled with mixed emotions.  This is my last official year to home educate my children.  Four have already moved on.  Only one remains at the school table.  She is in grade 12 and has already made plans to move on after the year’s work is complete.  With more than twenty-one years as a home educator, I know that life will be different at this time next year.  The house will sound rather quiet.  The school books will look rather forlorn and unused on the shelves.  The school table will feel rather empty with no one to tutor beside me.

It has been a wonderful twenty-one years.  I have learned lots alongside my children.  I have often said that anyone who has a desire to learn can home school their children.  I have had that desire and I have benefited as much, and maybe more, than my children throughout our home school years.  At times I have wondered why I missed so much during my own school days.  The books we have read; the history we have learned; the nature we have witnessed; these have all filled the years with new discoveries and joys.  I admit that we have faced some struggles through the years.  Learning difficulties demanded new strategies.  Babies changed set routines.  A range of ages required creative solutions.  At times we seemed to muddle our way through the difficulties, but we always emerged with fresh insights and lessons learned.  All in all, our home school days and years have been rich with rewards and blessings.

Of course, not everyone will or even should home educate their children.  We must all consider our own families and situations in the question of school choice.  However, whatever choice we do make – home, private, charter, public, separate – we, as parents, still bear the ultimate responsibility to lay a firm foundation, both educationally and spiritually, in the lives of our own children.  I have written about the spiritual foundations we lay, Scripture reading and prayer, but we must also be intentional to lay a good academic foundation.  It is our responsibility to make sure that our children are prepared for the next step, whether that step is further education or the job market.  This means that their school needs must always take precedence over our own wants and desires.  It means that we must, at times, clear the table and spend an evening with a child and homework.

As I step into this last year of my official home school career, the realization of the shortness of time will be ever present in my mind.  I will cherish this last year with my daughter.  I will also make an intentional choice to make this last year count for the future steps she will take in the journey of her own.  I know that means that I must sometimes put my own plans aside as I help her to prepare for hers.  I also know that the seeming sacrifice will be worth it as she steps out prepared for the future ahead.