Elisabeth Elliot: A Mentor and Guide

On Monday, June 15, I scrolled down my facebook home page and found that Elisabeth Elliot Gren had passed away earlier that morning.  I paused with a sense of sadness.  But my sadness quickly turned to joy as I considered that she was now in the loving arms of the Lord she so faithfully served.  In His presence is fullness of joy.  Her struggles with dementia and old age were now gone and she dwelt securely in His right hand with pleasures forever more.  I am sure that she heard the words that we all long to hear, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

I never knew Elisabeth Elliot personally but she was my mentor.  For more than ten years, most every day, at one-o-clock in the afternoon, I turned on the radio and heard the familiar words, “You are loved with an everlasting love and underneath are the everlasting arms.”  Sometimes I listened alone while my children rested.  Sometimes I listened with a baby in my arms.  Sometimes my children and I listened together, especially when she read stories aloud at Christmas time.  I listened and I learned and I grew in my walk with the Lord. 

Elisabeth Elliot inspired me during those early years of my motherhood.  She taught me that we all have “too much stuff – more than enough” and to “just do the next thing.”  She taught me to love my husband and my children.  She taught me to fear, honor, and reverence God even in the most mundane and ordinary tasks, tasks like doing dishes and folding clothes.  She imparted in me a willing spirit to do what God called me to do as a Christian woman, wife, and mother.  She encouraged me to be committed to Him and His ways even when they went against the ways of this world. 

Along the way, Elisabeth Elliot introduced me to other mentors, women like Amy Carmichael and Elizabeth Prentiss.   She guided me through her spoken words on her radio program.  She directed me through her written words in her books and newsletters.  But most of all, Elisabeth Elliot inspired me by her own example:  her trust when Jim Elliot died; her faithfulness to minister to the very people who killed him; her commitment to encourage other women with the truths she had learned. 

The back of my Gateway to Joy book states that “Elisabeth Elliot has modelled courageous faith for more than forty years of public life.  Her wisdom has been gleaned from her experiences as a twice-widowed wife, mother, grandmother, missionary, Bible translator, radio broadcaster, public speaker, and best-selling author.”  She continued to model that courageous faith even when she learned of her memory loss.  Her husband Lars Gren shares that she handled it as she handled all else in her life, with acceptance.  In acceptance lieth peace.  Once again she taught by her own example.

I am thankful for Elisabeth Elliot and for her ministry on Gateway to Joy.  She made a difference in my life.  I am thankful also for the many other women who have led and guided me along my life journey.  I thank God that He calls women to teach and encourage other women and I pray that I will be as faithful and willing in that calling as women like Elisabeth Elliot have been.   

When Mother Reads Aloud

You may have tangible wealth untold,

Caskets of jewels and coffers of gold.

Richer than I you can never be –

I had a mother who read to me

-A Reading Mother by Strickland W. Gillilan

I agree with Henry Ward Beecher when he says, “A home without books is like a room without windows.  .  .  .  A library is not a luxury, but one of the necessities of life.”  Indeed, books enrich our lives.  They transport us to different times and places.  They allow us to experience life in another’s shoes.  They enlighten us with timeless truths and values.  Books are a necessity and so we collected books.  Our home is crowded with books:  books in every room, books stacked to make room for more, books beckoning to be read.    The living room holds the greatest treasure of books, at least one shelf for every wall, some shelves smaller than others but still filled with books.  As my children grew, we gathered in the living room to share adventures from the pages of our books.

I read aloud to my children.  Of course, we read picture books, but we also enjoyed chapter books – chapter by chapter, night after night.  One of the first chapter books we read together was Little House in the Big Woods.  We followed this book with the rest of the books in the series.  The Ingalls family had become part of our family.  We learned from Aslan along with the Pevensie children and we adventured with the Swallows and Amazons.  We traveled with missionaries and lived with historical figures.  We read stories that were fun and made us laugh and we read stories that were serious and made us think.  Some stories stretched our imaginations and some added to our education.      

Through our books we met people and traveled the world.  We sailed over oceans and flew through clouds.  We adventured with new friends and discovered fresh truths.  But most of all I hope that my children were touched through our reading:  touched to accomplish brave and noble deeds, touched to be strong and true to their convictions, touched to make a positive difference in the world.  I hope that the times we read aloud left them richer than before.

As I look around the room and ponder the books on the shelves, memories flood my mind.  I remember the stories that we read together and I long for more.  When I began writing this post, I thought that I would list people we met along the way and places we went.  I thought that I would share more titles and lessons learned.  But too many gather in my mind.  Which are the best?  Some of my children would say one and others would counter with another.  Different books touched their hearts and lives in different ways. 

I am thankful for the days I had to read aloud to my children.  I am thankful for the books we read together.  I can still see my children gathered together for a story.  Sometimes they came with handiwork or coloring books and sometimes they just listened.  I remember the day when my son sauntered through the room toward another activity.  He lingered by the doorway.  He had decided that he was too old for our read aloud times.  Even so, the written words and adventure captured and held him.  No one is too old for a good story to be read aloud.  Stories add to life.  So, choose a book, gather the children around, and enjoy an adventure together.

         

A Glad Mother and Father

The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice, and he who begets a wise son will be glad in him.

Let your father and mother be glad, and let her rejoice who gave birth to you.

-Proverbs 23:24-25

Almost twenty-six years ago, my first child, my only son, was placed in my arms and I fell in love.  I loved his big eyes.  A stranger at the grocery store once admired him in his little seat in the cart.  She told me that his eyes would become normal one day and I hoped that they wouldn’t.  I loved his grin.  It brightened my days and filled my heart.  I loved his talk.  He talked at an early age and I enjoyed our chats together.  He taught me a lot about motherhood and he grew.  He moved from the baby who cuddled while he nursed to the toddler who played at the playground.  He matured from the young boy who enjoyed math and numbers and held my hand when we walked along the way to the young adolescent who had thoughts and ideas of his own. 

Then, before I was quite ready, he was a young man with goals and dreams that would take him far from my loving care.  I held him with clenched fingers that God gently pried apart.  The days when he was a young child gathered close to my knees seemed much easier.  Now he would move more than 600 miles from home.  My days of daily influence were over.  For the most part, he was on his own and he would make his own choices.  I wondered in my troubled heart why God would give such a precious gift and then tear it from my arms.  Of course, God didn’t tear him from my arms.  As a friend reminded me, we do want our kids to move on and live the life God has planned for them.  It is the cycle of life that He has created.  And I reluctantly agreed.

Two years ago, on June 8, that mature young man moved further from my grasp.  He found and married an excellent wife.  His role and responsibilities have changed.  He is now a husband.  He is still my son and he will remain in my heart forever.  I will like him for always.  But he has a family of his own now.  My role and influence have changed.  Life is full of these changes.  They remind us to number our days and to make the moments count.

The years pass ever too quickly.  Goodbyes happen ever too frequently.  Goodbyes are hard.  Letting go causes pain.  But, I have found that it also brings joy:  joy as they persevere and succeed; joy as they walk by faith and live righteously:  joy as they make wise decisions.  These things make a mother and father glad; they allow us to rejoice.  So, let’s cherish the times that we have with our children.  Let’s help them build strong foundations.  Let’s teach them to fly.  Then, when they move on, we can smile and wave.  We will shed a few tears, but we will also watch them soar to new heights of their own.   

Sanctify Them in the Truth

Sanctify them in the truth; Thy word is truth.

-John 17:17

An anonymous author wrote, “Every home is a school.  What do you teach?”  This statement implies that, whether we are intentional or not, we are teaching something in our homes.  Our children learn from our actions and examples whether we have planned and designed the curriculum or not.  As moms who desire to make a positive difference in the lives of our children, we must take the intentional approach to what we teach in our homes.  So, what do you teach? 

When my husband and I first began our homeschooling journey many years ago, we heard a speaker share about the priority of God’s Word in our daily home life.  I remember his admonition that Bible always comes first.  “If there is no time for both math and Bible, math goes.”  I took his words seriously and Bible time became the first subject of every day.  Before we officially sat down with math or reading, we read God’s Word together. 

I found that reading directly from His Word was the most effective strategy.  We often fail to realize that children can understand God’s Word.  They do not need children’s Bibles that water down the stories nor do they thrive better on little words of wisdom books that paraphrase and moralize the Truth that sanctifies us.  In John 17:17 Jesus prays for His disciples and He asks, “Sanctify them in the truth; Thy word is truth.”  The word “sanctify” means to withdraw from fellowship with the world by first gaining fellowship with God.  It is through His precious Word that we come into sweet fellowship with Him and it is through that sweet fellowship that we are cleansed, purified, and directed.

So, what do you teach?  Reason 84 in 101 Reasons God Made Moms says that “God made moms so they could teach their children about the Bible.  We teach by our example – did you have your daily quiet time in God’s Word today?  Do your children expect you to take time with God on a daily basis?  As Marie T. Freeman writes, “If you want to be a teacher, remember that you’re just as likely to teach who you are as you are to teach what you know.”  We teach by our priorities – does God’s Word have prominence in your life with your kids?  Do they perceive its importance because it is read aloud together?  We teach by our actions – do you follow the lessons you have learned from God’s Word?  Do you allow His truth to change your life?

No matter what your circumstances in life, you can make God’s Word a priority by withdrawing from fellowship with the world and seeking fellowship with God through His Word.  This example can be lived before younger and older children, grandchildren, and even nieces and nephews – any young people who have the opportunity to watch you in some way.  If your children are young, daily Bible time can become a priority in your home.  Choose a time that works for your family and set that time aside for Bible reading and discussion.  Through His Word those children will be sanctified in fellowship with the One who made and loves them.  Can anything be more important in the teaching that happens in our homes?  What do you teach?  Let’s be intentional to teach God’s Word.  

The Joy of Gratitude

Last week while driving on some errands, I listened to the Dennis Prager show.  I came in just as one listener was sharing the lack of appreciation she felt from her husband.  She had stayed home to raise her children and now they were grown and accomplished.  He had an obligation to acknowledge his gratitude for all that she had done to make a home for him and their children.  She only asked for small forms of appreciation like a note left on the kitchen counter thanking her for her efforts and achievements.  “Yes,” I thought, “that is what I crave.  I need my husband to acknowledge me for a job well-done, to thank me and pat me on the back.  Maybe I should call in to add my two cents.”

Not long after that call, Dennis voiced his own thoughts.  He began by stating that he had intended to stay quiet and let his listeners share without interruption, but he felt that he must add something of his own to the conversation.  I do not have the transcript before me, so I loosely quote him here.  In essence he said something short and profound, something that convicted me deeply.  He said, “I wonder if we sometimes forget to be thankful.”

I thought back to his caller and her call.  Dennis had dialoged with her as he often does and, as I thought back to her answers, I realized that she probably had more for which to be thankful than she realized.  Yes, her husband had provided for the family without complaint and they had lived comfortably.  Yes, she and her husband were able to get away for vacation time together.  Yes, they enjoyed one another’s company when they were together.  Her husband was even willing to attend counseling with her so that they could improve their marriage. 

When I considered these responses, I was reminded of the book I have been reading, Choosing Gratitude by Nancy Leigh DeMoss.  She writes, “I have seen how a lack of gratitude manifests itself in fretting, complaining, and resenting – whether within the confines of my own thoughts or, worse yet, through venting those thoughts to others. . .  Even in the most turbulent waters, choosing gratitude rescues me from myself and my runaway emotions.  It buoys me on the grace of God and keeps me from drowning in what otherwise would be my natural bent toward doubt, negativity, discouragement, and anxiety.” 

I was left with some questions for myself.  Am I choosing gratitude when I complain about my husband’s lack of appreciation for me and my accomplishments?  Am I really considering all that he does to make my life and family work the way it does?  Am I selfishly expecting more from him in the way of appreciation than I expect of myself?  I began to consider all that he does and to respond in my heart with gratitude.  It is so easy to get caught in the trap of complaining and resenting.  How much better to respond with gratefulness for the man God has so lovingly given me.  How much better to center my thoughts on those things I can appreciate about him.  How much better to live with thankfulness and joy rather than grumbling and negativity.

As a wife I can choose to be discontent and demanding, a continual dripping that brings dissension and strife.  Or I can choose to be content and filled with joy, a blessing that brings peace and harmony.  This is a choice I must make daily and sometimes even hourly.  It is a hard choice at times but the fruit of gratitude brings my husband good and not evil and raises my own worth.  May I then choose gratitude all my days and may my husband be able to safely trust me as he sits in the gates among the elders.