Together Again, Naturally

I am struck by an essay entitled Alone Again, Naturally.  Dennis Prager read and discussed it on his show yesterday afternoon.  The author of the piece sings the praises of being alone.  “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle,” she quotes with conviction.  As I listened to and later read her thoughts, I felt that I couldn’t disagree more.  I do need my man and I like having him around.  Yes, there are times when I want my own space, my independence.  I want to “spend my own money on a 10^th pair of black boots or a painting or a wood stove” without asking for permission.  I don’t want to worry about cooking if I don’t want to.  And yet, when I think of the loneliness that misguided freedom means, I shrink from the thought.

Single women “love doing whatever we want to do, when we want to do it.”  I suppose we all think that we would love to do whatever, whenever.  In fact the society around us gives us the feeling that we have a right to feel that way.  We are told to “have it your way” and “if it feels good, do it.”  Yet even a life of singleness presents its responsibilities.  I was single until I was twenty-six and there were few times when I ate breakfast at 11 and lunch at 3.  I usually had a class to attend or a job to do.  Being single and alone does not take away the responsibilities of life.  It only adds to the loneliness one feels when she comes home from work to an empty place where no one waits for her arrival.

As a single person we come to realize “that there is no reason to curl up on ‘our’ side of the bed while we sleep.  We no longer have to take sides.  We can sprawl across the expansive middle.”  Ten years ago I was given the lonely privilege of sprawling across the expansive middle of ‘our’ bed.  My husband had just been diagnosed with cancer and he was in the hospital awaiting treatment.  I found this ‘privilege’ bleak and cold.  The long night seemed to drag on forever.  I missed a companion to keep me warm both physically and emotionally.

She ends her essay by stating, “We love our nests.”  I love my nest as well.  I love those that are a part of my nest, my husband and my children.  They are the ones that make my nest worth tending and they are the ones that make my nest snug, warm, serene, and safe.  I don’t understand the feeling that a woman doesn’t need anyone, especially a man who makes life “a lot of work.”  Having a companion to share the load and to pick one up when she is down, makes life worth the struggle.  It makes life safe and serene.  It makes life warm and friendly.

God reminds us in Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 that “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor.  For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.”  I do not see it as a weakness to have someone there to lift me when I have fallen.  I see it as a reward.  “But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up.  Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.”  Those of us who are blessed with a special bed-warmer will not dispute this.  A warm bed is much more inviting than a cold one.  “But how can one be warm alone?  Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him.  And a three-fold cord is not quickly broken.”  I am thankful for my husband and I am thankful for the Lord God who offers the third strand to our cord.  Together we can withstand the struggles this world offers.  Together we can enjoy the warmth and help of a constant companion.  I choose to be together.