How Do I Measure Up?

Mothers; wives; women:  We can all fall into the habit of sinful comparison.  We compare our children, and our husbands, and our choice of careers.  We compare the ways we discipline, and the ways we keep house, and the ways we dress.  As I have considered this topic of comparison throughout this past week, I have come to discover that really nothing escapes this habit of sinful comparison.  In fact, I noticed in my own life that comparison happens much more than I would like to admit – it almost seems constant at times.  It is a way to measure my own success against the life of another woman.  As John Piper writes, “That’s the way we sinners are wired.  Compare.  Compare.  Compare.  We crave to know how we stack up in comparison to others.  There is some kind of high if we can just find someone less effective than we are.  Ouch.” 

Ouch is right.  The problem is:  we don’t always find someone less effective than we are.  Sometimes, when we calculate our worth against the life of another woman, we can easily be left with the realization that we just don’t measure up.  Her kids may sit in perfect obedience when they are out in public or they may be offered scholarships at prestigious universities.  Her husband may take her on elaborate vacations or he may buy her diamonds to celebrate their years together.  Her house and garden may be showcased in a major magazine or she may be promoted to a high position at work.  These comparisons can leave us depressed and defeated with no confidence for the future.

However, other comparisons leave us with the prideful attitude that we are indeed more effective than the woman with whom we compare ourselves.  It may be that our children have achieved more, or our husbands are more attentive.  Or maybe our lives are filled with accomplishments that we can be, well, proud of.  Nancy Leigh DeMoss points out that these comparisons cause us to feel worthy of honor.  They give us a high and often self-important view of ourselves.  They tempt us to gossip so that others are aware of our superior measure.  These comparisons may give us reason to strut in pride, but they are just as, and possibly more, destructive as those comparisons that reveal our weaknesses.  After all we know that the boastful pride of life is not from the Father but rather from the world. 

It is right to rejoice with those who rejoice and to weep with those who weep.  It is good to learn from others and to seek counsel from those with more wisdom and experience.  But it is destructive to measure our worth by comparison.  It is, in fact, sinful.  As John Piper reminds us, “Jesus will not judge me according to my superiority or inferiority over anybody.  Jesus has a work for me to do (and a different one for you).  It is not what he has given anyone else to do.”  May we then compare ourselves to His standard for our individual lives and the work He has for us to do.  Let us look to Him and allow Him to measure our lives by His measure.  As He said to Peter in John 21:23, “What is that to you?  You follow Me!”